Me, Myself, and I

This weekend Steve and I headed down to Lookout Mountain in Georgia. Lookout Mountain is where my dad and Wendy live and is an absolutely beautiful part of the country. Dad invited Steve to come down and play in a golf tournament for the weekend and they somehow talked me into make the trip as well.

Without the kids.

This was a pretty big deal for me, to say the least. Steve and I have left the kids for overnights here and there, but never for four days while traveling by plane to be several states away.

As we prepared to depart out of Cleveland on Thursday afternoon, I almost didn't go. Steve's reassuring comments helped me get on the plane, but it was still hard to think about being so far from my kids for such a long time. It's probably worth mentioning here that Steve declared that after this trip, he refuses to fly with me unless I have taken a Valium or Xantax (or a combo of both!). If that doesn't give you an indication as to how much of a basket case I was, I don't know what will!

When Friday morning rolled around, I found myself in an interesting predicament. Steve and dad were headed out to the golf course for a whopping 27 holes of golf, while Wendy was down in Chattanooga at work. Leaving me alone.

Alone. For 9 1/2 hours. Not that anyone is counting, of course.

I spent the first several hours of my day feeling guilty. My kids weren't with me. What kind of a mother leaves her kids behind? Shouldn't I be doing something for someone? Anyone? Didn't someone need breakfast, a bath, laundry washed or folded?

As the guilt continued to creep over me, I came to an important conclusion. Someone did need me. It just wasn't someone that I was used to taking care of or giving much time or attention to.

ME!

From that point on, I made my day all about getting myself to relax and have fun. I went for a long walk. I read a book for hours on end. I watched some mindless tv to get caught up on my soap I hadn't seen in weeks. I sat by the waterfall outside and just listened to nature at it's finest.

And the result? I feel amazing. My spirit, which I thought had been doing ok, feels renewed in a way I didn't think possible. Since becoming a wife, teacher, and mother (in that order!), I spend so much of my day giving myself to others. Be it my husband, Madison and Olivia, family, friends, and students...I like to take care of people and definitely pour as much of my energy as possible into taking care of them.

Steve is always on my case that in taking care of others, I never remember to take care of myself. I always brush him off when he says that, but yesterday I finally realized that he might be right (Yes, honey. There it is in writing!).

Somewhere in the peace and quiet of my Friday afternoon, I realized that maybe, by occasionally stopping to take care of myself, I will actually be taking care of everyone. Clear as mud, right? I guess I'm realizing that I don't do anyone any good by running myself ragged. A Heather with a renewed spirit can do a much better job taking care of others than a Heather who is throwing herself in so many different directions that she doesn't know which way is up, right? Right?!?!?

So, for the rest of my weekend, I'm going to continue to focus on myself. Today is already off to a good start, as I'm getting ready to head off to a day at the spa! I'm still missing my kids like crazy, but as I talk to them every night as they are getting tucked into bed and sing their prayesrs with them, I realize that we are all doing ok with me being away.

Me. Myself. I. It's been nice to spend some time getting to know you again.